Parenting · Personal

Room 101: Parenting Edition

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could banish things we no longer wanted to a room never to be seen again? To push them down a dark corridor to be locked away for eternity? Well that’s exactly what people have been doing since the mid-90’s on the TV series Room 101 so I know it’s possible and I think it’s time to take my turn on the chair in my own Parenting Edition. As parents I’m sure we could fill a billion rooms with things that see us runnng for cover or rolling our eyes, but here are just a few that I would like to drop into the abyss.

Glitter

I have talked about my dislike of glitter before in my 10 Things I Have Learnt Since Becoming A Parent, so this had to make the top of my list. Whoever invented the stuff must have had a real sadistic side, yes it looks pretty but the stuff literally goes EVERYWHERE regardless of how many containment measures are put in place. Not only that even after hoovering and scrubbing until my hands bleed I find the stuff for months. The kids may glue the paper until it’s sopping wet before applying the stuff, yet it still has the audacity to scatter the minute the paper is lifted. Yet get a little in a kid’s hair and it will stubbornly stay there for eternity regardless of how many times you wash their hair. When I reluctantly allow the glitter to be used I know that for days I will look in the mirror and see that I have been replaced by Guy Diamond from the Trolls Movie! So good riddance to glitter…………

Teeth Brushing

Leo has hated his teeth being brushed from and early age and we have tried everything to make the experience better, but it’s still a battle of wills! Every morning we have to psych ourselves up ready for battle to commence, a few lunges, a couple of stretches and it’s straight into the ring. We have tried singing songs, apps, special toothbrushes, bribes you name it we have tried it all to no avail. Occasionally he surprises us and brushes his teeth with no argument, however it appears this is just some Jedi mind trick to lull us into a false sense of security, allowing us to pat ourselves on the back every once in a while, because the following day it’s back to square one. So, if someone could invent some way of clicking your fingers to brush your kids teeth that would be fabulous……goodbye teeth brushing

teeth
Picture Credit: @worthyofelegance

Early Morning Wake-Up Calls

I know I won’t be alone in sending early mornings into the depths of Room 101. I adore having a lie in it’s one of life’s happy things, but someone forget to tell the kids. I’m not sure when opening your eyes and seeing the numbers on the clock starts with a 7 became something to rejoice as opposed being the time you stumbled home from a night out? I would literally give anything to wake up and see it’s past 9am, actually revise that I won’t be greedy an 8 would suffice. Us parents are crying out for some decent sleep and a lie in! Adios early morning wake up calls…………..

kidswake
Picture Credit: Allen Taylor

The Baby Shark Song ( or any other annoying song)

If you have had the misfortune of hearing The Baby Shark song you have my full sympathy as once it’s in your head, you will NEVER remove it. Often, I’ll find myself alone and suddenly it’s there lurking and before I know it I’m singing the dam song out loud – even if I haven’t heard it for days. This nightmare of a song isn’t alone there are plenty out there equally as bad, Daddy Finger is also another that makes me shudder upon hearing the first few notes. So, for all those tortured parents having to endure not just The Baby Shark song, but any repetitive tune I hereby banish you………….

Noisy Toys With Batteries

This one is quite general as there is no individual toy that stands out as the worst they are equally as bad as each other. You know the ones, usually those which someone else purchased for your child, handing it over before making a rapid retreat to their own peaceful home. The most annoying ones are usually those that have no volume control that you end up removing the batteries from when the kids are in bed. That’s my other pet hate about noisy electronic toys, the batteries! Not only does each toy require hundreds, but you need to take out a loan just to keep replacing them as they drain so quickly and so help you if you don’t have spares when the kids favourite toy runs out……..cue meltdown! I’m more than happy to bid electronic noisy, annoying toys farewell!

I would love to hear what you would like to send into Room 101, let me know in the comments below.

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