The ‘right time’ is a phrase that gets bandied about all the time; is it the ‘right time’ to have children or to get married?, is it the ‘right time’ to change jobs or move house? As I’ve got older I’ve realised just how much I have held myself to the ‘right time’ concept, often second guessing myself when it comes to making decisions and worrying about if it’s the ‘right’ moment to be taking that extra leap of faith when making decisions. For me personally these haven’t always been big momentous decisions but often the more boring day to day and reflecting I wonder does the ‘right time’ actually exist?
My ‘career’ (or lack of) is the inspiration for this post as the realisation dawned on me recently that as I race towards my mid 40’s my achievements pale in comparison to my peers. My work life and career progression has taken a backseat whilst I have been been raising my children who have always been and always will be my biggest and most proud achievement and this post is in no way taking anything away from that. However, over the years I have seen sparks that could have become something amazing if not for that old friend ‘right time’ who had other ideas, putting the brakes on before things even really got going. In short I’ve realised that whilst waiting for my ‘right time’ I have in fact achieved nothing notable – my wonderful children aside.
An example; whilst raising my children I set up and ran a reasonably successful eBay business buying and selling from home, but when it came to taking the next step it just didn’t feel like the ‘right time’ and before I knew it my situation had changed and the business no longer seemed viable. I long to be able to go back and visit past me, give her a shake and tell her there is no ‘right time’ and to step out of the comfort zone and give it a go. Making bold life choices is always going to have the potential to make you uncomfortable but it’s your life for the taking and if you don’t push yourself you will never know what you can achieve.
Perhaps it’s the benefit of hindsight but I have realised that that is no ‘right time’ and that often it’s only my own self doubt and lack of confidence that has dictated my decisions. I can clearly see that fear of failure held me back in so many similar scenarios and I realise now just how crazy that actually is. If you try things and they don’t work out that doesn’t mean you’ve failed instead it’s simply been an opportunity to learn and grow from that experience. If you wait for that magical ‘right time’ you will most certainly miss opportunities to discover more about yourself and what you are capable of achieving. The only opinion that matters is your own and it’s something that I need to remind myself too in order to seize my future potential with both hands.
Time is forever ticking, the past is gone, you can’t get it back, even a minute ago when you started reading this post is spent. The future isn’t guaranteed and it’s what you make of it and the decisions you make that matter. I’ve realised I get to decide when it’s the ‘right time’ not some self imposed expectation of when and how I should live. No one is going to present you with the ‘right time’ you have to create your own opportunity.
With my realisation that I have in fact been holding myself back I have decided I am going to create my ‘right time’ now in regards to writing this blog. In 2019 I’d been blogging for around 3yrs and had my own website for almost all of that time. I was working part time around the children which allowed me to spend a good portion of time on making Fraser’s Fun House become something that could potentially lead to something more. I’d made lots of blogger friends and through networking had created many contacts for collaborations and work; things were going really well.
However, life had other plans and Mr F was diagnosed with secondary cancer on the same day I was made redundant from my job. To say this sent me into a tailspin is somewhat of an understatement but life changed beyond recognition for a while. Not only did I have to look after my husband whilst he under went a gruelling regime of chemo followed by an huge operation, but I also had to look after the children and figure out how to survive when our income was reduced to almost nothing. Needless to say blogging ended up at the bottom of the pile and whilst thankfully my husband is now doing well I did have to change my jobs meaning my time for blogging was significantly reduced. Alongside that whilst my enthusiasm for writing has always remained my mental health had taken such a battering during my hiatus that I found it really difficult to know where to begin again.
Over the years in between we have also had covid to contend with too and I despite posting the odd blog here and there I never seemed to be able to get going properly again. After thinking long and hard about what has been holding me back I realised I was waiting for the ‘right time’ and as previously discussed I truly believe that it doesn’t exist except in my own mind. Therefore I am writing this post partly as a way to hold myself accountable as I’m committed to work hard to get Fraser’s Fun House back where it was in terms of regular content and embracing my passion. I’m not going to make unrealistic promises to post every day but simply to carve out writing time even if it’s only a half hour here and there. I’ve been busy planning posts and have ideas thrumming though my head constantly and it’s been wonderful to feel that dormant creativity flowing again.
This post is probably one of the most personal I have ever written so thanks to anyone who actually read this far, your support means the actual world to me. I hope that going forward I can share more of this kind of post in the hope it may help someone out there.
Fraser’s Fun House 